I love this time of year – the dance that occurs between the cool rainy monsoons, the voice of the thunder and vibration of lightning and the endless green that covers the mountains just lights up my soul!  Everything is ripening – coming into it’s fullness.  Whether it’s tomatoes or peaches, we’re being gifted with the bounty all around us.  Do you see it?  Are you having an experience of it?  What does this season bring to your life? What wants to happen for you?

I feel like I’ve been on the move this past month, creating things that nourish me at the deepest level…. flower therapy in the mountains… learning to salsa dance with my husband… and sharing a wood-fired hot tub with my beautiful women friends at an awesome cabin in the high country.  At the same time, I’ve noticed that all these things have brought me a quality of awareness, of noticing that while some things are in full bloom, others are slowing and changing.  With my only daughter leaving soon for college, I have moments of clarity where I can feel the excitement for her just starting in life, while I know for me a huge chapter of my life – the intimacy of raising a child – is ending.  There’s all the poignancy and bittersweetness I can imagine holding.  Some days the tears just come and I sit in awe of how much I can love one person.

The bigger picture here is all about the Paradox that calls me to stretch myself into a being that can hold opposites at the same time.  This is a Quest, for sure, one I’ll be working with for years to come.  The clincher is that the outer world is not on this Quest with me – daily I’m bombarded (as we all are) with black/white scenarios that are lose/lose in my opinion.

In the article below, the conversation is about being a Visionary.  Well, I believe that the qualities of being one are also qualities that are just plain necessary to keep stretching myself and going forward on my Quest.  Here are some of them – in my own language of living your True Life

Living in the Mystery – Oh, we humans think we have control over things and that’s such misinformation!  Life is a Mystery and our job is to trust the unfolding.  I know this continually calls me to BE PATIENT and HAVE TRUST.  It’s one of the hardest lessons and yet, when I am there, peace is at hand.

Relax! In recent work I’ve done on some of my own ‘immunities to change’ I’ve gotten to see how ‘relaxing’ wasn’t something really modeled for me growing up.  While I’ve always loved to play and am better balanced, I still see areas that I can drive myself (crazy), working and pushing to ‘make’ this or that happen.  I know this tightens up my energy – contracts it actually.  So stepping away and finding a soul-centered activity can settle me down and return me to the abundance and flow.  When I take things on again, I am more grounded, calm and vibrating a whole different way!

Active Waiting – I included in this month’s newsletter the wisdom of Lao Tzu, writer of the I-Ching.  He’s describing a way of being that is so valuable, and definitely not given much credence by our society.  Instead of always feeling pressured to act – and often before one is clear – make time to get quiet and listen.  What wants to happen?  This stance of stillness allows things to unfold, but with mindfulness present.  Then when you say “Yes”, it’s a complete investment of you.

Co-Create What Matters – The Superwoman (or Man) archetype has run out of steam.  Doing everything perfect and by yourself won’t work – it really never was sustainable.  We are one community, one planet.  How can I engage more synergistically with other like-minded people (my tribe!)?  Where do I need to ask for help?  Bringing the diversity and creativity of many together helps create the contribution that has the most impact.  We are the ones we’ve been waiting for – let’s inspire one another!

Know Yourself – When you take the time to get to know yourself – the whole enchilada that’s you – you can keep a stronger focus on what your livelihood is; what you’re meant to bring to the world.  We each have a unique gift and finding its expression brings a lot of fulfillment and joy.  Healing and wholeness within myself ripples out and helps create the change in others too.  Give yourself full permission to develop a relationship with your inner Beloved.  Then you’ll be your own best friend and treat yourself with the love and respect you deserve.

Faith in Source -  When you know yourself, you come to know Source, as we are microcosms of that great macrocosm.   Not something reached through the usually dependable 5 senses, this place of Source is reached through direct knowing.  It’s very rarely explainable in any rational way.  Faith implies putting our trust in something we can’t see or touch, but have experienced.   It’s remembering the connection that links us all. It’s remembering we’re not alone.  It’s coming home again.

While I’ve discovered these gifts for living, I always need reminders to use them.  It’s easy to fall into a sleeping state as I move through life.  So many conflicting messages coming at me, it would be easy to just get lazy and be swayed by cultural/familial/relationship winds.  But, I am committed to growing and stretching into becoming a fully realized human being.  Will you join me?  Let’s share the richness of ripened fruit together!

Victoria

Funny how life brings us lessons, isn’t it?  Ah, but can we really laugh and embrace them?

Since I named this summer’s Quest retreat: Embracing Change with an Open Heart, I should’ve realized that I would be called to do just that!

So Change happens.  In listening to ‘what wants to happen’ (something I’m working on in life), I realized I had to make some decisions about where and when for the retreat – it either had to shift if it was going to happen or it would be cancelled altogether.  Perhaps the economy is making it harder to take the leap to commit a week to your own growth; I can’t say that I really know.  But, yeah, I definately had that moment of ‘oh damn, now what?’ to be honest about it.  ‘Can I get a new location, and re-work it into a bit shorter program while holding the essentials?’

One of the things that helped me shift everything was shifting my perspective. Yes, I am very dedicated to everyone taking time to unhook – and the longer, in my view, the better.  I’ve had many of these experiences myself to learn from and that learning tells me that the longer I give myself, the deeper I can really go in building my relationship to my inner self.  But dancing with what is actually in front of me, I could see that right now, longer was not filling up – longer was not calling in the people I want to benefit from the powerful change tool I have to offer.

I realized that we’re all being called to adapt and shift on this planet each and every day.  Every day brings us new technology, new financial circumstances, new challenges that call for flexibility and willingness to learn.  So, it’s really no suprise – Change is comin’ and this is just the latest one to arrive at my door!  How will I respond?

As the Sufi poet Rumi says,

‘Being human is a guest house.
Every day a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!”

OK!!  With that in mind, and supported by my team of coaches and colleagues, I stepped in and shifted the Quest Retreat to be 2 days shorter and at a smaller, more intimate location, right outside Durango, Colorado.  And if someone wants to use any extra time, Durango is a mecca for those who love the outdoors with endless opportunities for hiking, biking, rafting and exploring the Native American ruins of the southwest (Mesa Verde is less than an hour away).

The new location for the Quest Retreat – Willowtail Springs B&B – with delightfully furnished cottages right on a private lake, with the La Plata Mountains in the background, is a sanctuary of peacefulness and beauty.  I was there leading a retreat in February, snowsnowing in the moonlight.  And I dreamt of coming back in the summer to feel the wind of the pines on my skin. And now I am!

So upward on this journey I go.  Learning to adapt to Change, with my heart open and my creativity fully alive.  I’m still just as committed to offering tools for you to live your True Life and I, too, am learning that I can let go and flow – when I take time to listen to what wants to happen and use my imagination to find perspectives that empower and awaken myself.

What about you?  Does your Soul need time to listen and bring forth new creativity in support of growing your capacity to manifest the things you dream of?  If so, maybe you’ll join me at the Quest Retreat!  I hope so.  It’s only 16 days away and it’s time to say YES to your True Life!

Victoria

I’m sitting on my bed in a room of sunflowers!  The walls are cornflower blue and there’s even a tiffany’s stain glass lamp of sunflowers mounted on the wall.  I’m enveloped in a comforting softness, surrounded by beauty.  And the really cool part is this just the inside space at Horseshoe Lodge – outside are 100’s of acres of Mother Earth’s beauty to explore and be nourished by as well.

This is the Mountain Park Environmental Center in Beulah, Colorado, the site for this summer’s Quest  for Your True Life: Embracing Change with an Open Heart retreat.  This place truly has been a labor of love by my friends Helene and Dave Van Manen.  Their belief in the possibilities of using outdoor education and the healing and restorative power of nature, have given us this unique site, a place to explore the land and ourselves in communion.

Tonight, walking with Helene and Dave to Lookout Point, I could feel their love of each of us for all the blooming plants we met along the well-kept trail – blue harebells, white yucca, brilliant orange butterflyweed and purple one-sided penstemon, to name just a few.  Actually I’ve never seen so many blooming yuccas at once, even in the desert – and here we’re at 7000’ above sea level.   My eyes drank in the flowers beauty, surrounded by the larger landscape of ponderosa pines, Douglas firs and Rocky Mountain juniper.

What really got me jazzed was noticing all the special spots that could be calling your name for a mini-Vision Quest this August.  At least a dozen called to me – come, sit here with me, notice the details here, for they carry messages to you about your own journey.   I’ve spent my life in conversation with the natural world – my friend, my Beloved, always receiving so much love, acceptance and inspiration.  I am committed to guiding others not to miss the sacred conversations that happen in these woods.

It’s a privilege to get to bring a special group of women, interested in knowing themselves deeply and bringing that knowledge to the world in the form of wonderful gifts, to this special place.  While Mystery holds what will unfold for each woman, I know that the impact of each one’s journey will be rippling from them into the world for years to come.   What a delicious adventure!

Tell me, what would inspire you to take the time to listen to your heart and the heart of the Earth, this August?

Victoria

Last night I felt the moon in my body. I stood in a meadow way up in the Rockies, with about 500 other spiritually-minded friends, listening to the teacher Michael Beckwith. My hands were on my heart, my face was pointed to the crystal blue sky as it was deepening into cobalt. And there was the crescent moon. As I raised my eyes upward, I felt that moon, that ever-present ‘She’ energy fall effortlessly into my body.

For days now since I saw some musician friends perform a week ago, I’ve been singing the song ‘There’s a Moon in my Body”. The song by Cyprian Consiglio, a Benedictine monk, was inspired by the Sufi poet Kabir’s poem. It speaks to what is already here, yet that which I am not aware of. It speaks to the oneness that is beyond our sight – but not beyond knowing.

How do we know these things that we can’t see? What senses must we find in ourselves to feel the love and mystery of the moon in our bodies?

For me, taking extended time in nature – falling in love with trees… admiring the shape of a rock and it’s steadiness as I sit on it… listening to the flowing poetry of the stream – Nature is always my best teacher!

So that’s why I have a big summer retreat for women! Inviting you to come sit with me and listen to the Beloved’s conversation, so we might both, once again, be open and innocent, together. This is my invitation to you now.

Some days the world comes at you at 90 miles an hour – ie, either endless small non-stop challenges, or big challenges that take your time and heart away from what you think you need to be doing. 

It can sure be overwhelming!  We all have connections to so many people and things – as part of the interconnected web we’re a part of – each one brings joy and fulfillment sometimes and new challenges for growth and learning at other times.

The past couple weeks I’ve had one of those big challenges facing me and it requires me to change.  To change how I’ve been in relationship with someone who I care deeply for.  Which in some way is like a break-up.  Since I’ve been married for 22 years, and this person is not my husband (whew), i
t’s been quite awhile since I’ve ‘done’ break-up.  I’m not used to the many feelings and emotions I’ve had arise.  This had required me to stretch myself for sure.

How do you handle all the feelings that loss brings up?  What keeps you centered as you go through letting go? (I’ll discuss the Letting Go part in another blog soon)
I have a big basket of tools (thankfully!) but that doesn’t mean I don’t get so caught up in feeling that I forget them.  Humanity is a never-ending experience!  This week, as I felt myself struggling, I recognized that it was time to connect with a tool, as the path I was on was turning into a huge downer.

What tool worked this time?  Well it’s usually a combination of a couple but the one I want to highlight here is:  Doing the Laundry!  Surprise!  Surprised?  Yup, it worked for a number of reasons.  Here are a few:

1. Creating order from chaos – when change shows up, it can turn our nicely organized world into chaos.  We all want some measure of control over life – sometimes though, it’s just not going to happen in the area of change.  So if I turn my attention to something else – something I can have an effect on in a positive way, it brings me more breathing space to settle down.
2. Feeling Productive – when I do the laundry, at the end I have an outcome that pleases me.  Nice warm piles of folded clothes.  This alone warms up my heart and begins to soften me towards the change I need to embrace with an Open Heart. 
3. Making a Difference – if I do the laundry for me and my husband, I know I’m making a difference.  It may not save the world but we each have fresh clothes to wear that are ready to go.  Making my life and someone I care about’s life a little easier also expands my heart.

Just living these 3 values I notice the positive effect on me.  I am not so triggered by the changes facing me and now, I can start to let go.  There’s more breathing room.  I can start to see more possibility in the change — what doors are opening that had been closed?  What new aliveness is possible in me?  A fresh perspective becomes available – expansion and magic are back at work.  I’m no longer in freak-out, emotionally triggered mode.  I can see and then take my next step.

Are you dealing with Change?  Has it got you off in Never-never Land?  Try this simple way to realign yourself with yourself.  Let me know how it goes!

To the living the Change Journey with Grace,

Victoria

When I was 35 I did my first Vision Quest near Great Falls, Montana at 4000 acre Blacktail Ranch.  It was part of a 2 week Deepening Spirit Camp with my teacher Brooke Medicine Eagle, with about 20 women from all over the U.S.  Towards the end of our time together, we each scouted a spot on the land that called to us, Brooke led a sweat lodge to purify ourselves and then we each headed out for an overnight alone on that beautiful land.  Over the next 24 hours I conversed with seen and unseen Wild Spirits.  By the time I returned I had a clear vision of what my next steps were.  There would be challenges to my success but after this experience I had the confidence to know I could handle whatever came up.  That was 20 years ago!  I’m still reaping wisdom from that first quest and the ones that followed it.
 
On one of my Quests, as I tried to fall asleep in my sleeping bag on a bed of summer grasses, I felt something around my feet – OMG, I thought, I’m about to be eaten!  The fear that gripped my chest was like a vise; the deep pounding of my heart was all I could hear.  For at least an hour I lay there, afraid to open my eyes, scared to find out just what was nibbling at my bag.  Something… it had to be big, scary and ready to devour me.  I was soooo sure of it.  Shine a flashlight on it?  No Way!  Too Scared!!  Finally it must’ve stopped and I fell asleep.

Upon awakening I could see little tiny teeth marks and chewed goose down feathers at the end of my sleeping bag.  Whatever it was, it sure had some small teeth – probably a chipmunk or mouse.  All my fear had kept me stuck – unable to even see what it was.  I had to laugh out loud.  My supposedly indomitable spirit put to shame by a creature no bigger than my hand. I blushed at the ridiculousness of it all.  Stuck in the dark, unable to move, I had no way to know what it was or how to make it stop. 

What fears keep you stuck?  What are you afraid to explore?  How does closing your eyes or staying a course even when it doesn’t work, hold you back from your dreams?  What hidden commitments have you got going on that keep you from realizing what you truly and deeply want today? Keep you from expressing your unique life purpose? Oh, and what is that purpose anyway??

If you’re ready for the tools to uncover the hidden commitments that your fear of change have generated, and define and celebrate the wonder of you and the special gifts you have, check out my premier summer retreat Quest for your True Life: Embracing Change with an Open Heart. (www.truelifecoach.net/summerretreats2010.htm) It’s in the middle of August, the perfect time for ripening your beauty and spirit.  We’ll meet at Horseshoe Lodge, an environmental center in the mountains of southeast Colorado.   Just thinking about the smell of the warm summer wind through the pines makes my heart expand.

I still love Quests  – and so each summer I lead a group of amazing women (YOU!) to explore, have fun and grow together on retreat.   This one has a one day vision quest for you (not an overnight ) to discover your deepest longings and purpose, and the changes you can make that will bring them alive – manifesting  your full expression.   The Quest is wrapped in 5 more days of meditation, hiking, soulful art, dancing, journal writing, solitude and group coaching circles -  come be celebrated, seen and loved.  Join me for this one-of-a-kind women’s retreat – I can’t wait to share it with you!

Victoria

Home again, home again.  Takes a few days to land after 15 hour flights.  It’s a bit like being ‘between worlds’, which you really are if you think about it.  Airplanes move us so quickly from place to place – my travels took my almost 10,000 miles from home – whew – no wonder it can take my body a few days to really catch up to where I am.

Just before going to India, I spent an amazing weekend at Willowtail Springs B&B, leading the ‘Tending the Seeds of Your Beauty Retreat.  I went from moonlight snowshoeing on a snow-covered lake to riding a freckled elephant in a matter of days.  From walking on snow deeper than I’ve seen in many winters to letting the waves of the Indian Ocean rock me and soothe my winter-chilled body.   And that’s how life is.  Can we be ready for the change?  Who do we need to be to flow with what we call in as well as what shows up? 

Flexibility, openness, curiosity and a willingness to taste the deliciousness of foreign places – these are values that I aspire to have.  I know that if I do, no matter where my heart pulls me or the winds of life blow me, I will find my way.  When I honor who I am, I trust that the experiences that come my way will be the ones most helpful for my deepest evolution – even when my ego-driven self can’t make heads or tails of it!

Here’s a quote from Joseph Campbell that I came across in my travels to India – let me know what you think of it:

“In this life of creative adventure, the criterion of achievement will be… the courage to let go of the past, with its truths, its goals, its dogmas of ‘meaning’ and its gifts: to die to the world and to rebirth from within.”

As spring comes to the western world, keep your heart open and light, holding what you have and think with gentleness.  Be ready to be born anew.

Victoria

The rustling of the palms…. The songs of the birds… the peace of the river – here, upriver at Casa Colvale I am alone and having a mini-retreat. 

Why do we take time alone to retreat?  I believe it’s to let the busyness of life settle so that we can hear an inner voice.  Sometimes it can take awhile to hear.  Especially when you’ve been extra busy or moving quickly from one thing to another all the time.  I think that voice lives between the ‘things’; that there is a quiet sanctuary that is only accessible if we slow down.

After 8 days moving around Goa, I’ve had the chance to shift into another mode.  It’s absolutely delightful.  I may never leave!

The last mini-retreat I had was in November and it led to creating a series of winter retreats for my clients.   It felt like I was able to feel into what was needed as we headed into the colder, more reflective months. 

Two of those retreats are finished – one more next month to welcome spring has 4 spots left (www.truelifecoach.net/winterretreats2010.htm) .  Today in India there is a festival for inviting new things.  I don’t know the name of it but I’m told it’s about starting fresh.  So I will align with that in my world too.

The iJournal site is stepping into a new realm – membership (or as I prefer it ‘Tribe’) invites you to be a part of something bigger, that can offer insight, wisdom and learning. A place to explore who you are and where you’re going.   Check it out at www.truelifecoach.net/ijournal.htm .

The dates are now set for my week-long summer retreat – Quest for the Hidden Jewel Within, August 15-20 at the Horseshoe Lodge in Beulah, Colorado.  I see a special group of women coming to listen for their own Hidden Jewel, in the singing pine trees and mountain air.  As soon as I get back, the details will be posted and sent out.  Start imagining yourself there…

If I hear from past retreatants that you’re ready for a BIG WORLD ADVENTURE, from any retreat but especially the Questers who wanted ‘Quest II’, , I will tell you about coming to India, to the Casa Colvale, a special place to Quest some more… Believe me, anything is possible!

For now, let your vision go blurry.  Let your hard set focus soften for a moment…  look out the window or across the river or off towards whatever horizon is yours.  Ask yourself: What am I longing for?  And make the time to listen.  You will be surprised, and you will be tapping into a Source bigger than you can ever imagine, that is a part of you and everything that is.  Take note.  Pay attention.  Then write me, and share what you’ve received.  Support for your longings is just a quick note or call away.

Victoria                                                            

This is a topsy turvy world… and oh so much slower than America.  I just have let go of moving at my old pace.  That’s probably one of the best things about being here, even though it can frustrating in the beginning.  Also I’m traveling with 5 other people – 2 adults and 3 kids – and anytime you move as a tribe, the whole thing gets slower.  Since that’s what is, I will let go and surrender to it.

We’ve seen some amazing places – the Hindu temples we visited were sacred places of connection to Spirit – whether you follow Ganesh, the Remover of Obstacles (wow – don’t we all need help with that!?) or whoever, they lead me to take a few slower breaths and consider all that I have and slip into much gratitude.  Even when just scootering along, there’s so much EXTREME simple living – we call it poverty – I can’t help but consider how I usually live and how much I have.
 
Last night we went to a local market/party in Baga, a nearby beach town.   We’d been to a market in the daytime before but the night brought out tons of people and it was fun to see everything lit up.  There was a band and a guy who combined mime and crumping (street dance) who was great!  Tons of things to buy.  I did get a friend a beautiful sari for a wedding present and one for me too, but my highlight was getting a henna tattoo.  I’ve seen them on a lot of ankles but considering I would be coming home and not exactly experiencing the summer temps that are here, I went for my hand.  The best part about it is that every couple minutes I see it and go: “Whoa, what’s that?!”  And it’s a beautiful reminder that life is not just what you already know.  There’s a whole bigger world to explore and learn from.   And it also reminds me of the southern India temple dancers – their beauty and self-expression through movement.  Since we’re all connected, I’m a part of that too.

What about you?  How do you step out of automatic living and refresh your view of life?  Would love to see your thoughts about that…

From the other side of the world,

Victoria

Well, here I am in Siolim, India, a small town on the southwest coast of the state of Goa. There are palm trees and lovely breezes and I am definitely not in Kansas, oops I mean Colorado, anymore!

I was called here by my friend Patti, already in India, accepting a request to accompany her 3 daughters from Durango to Goa. It was a way that I could support her healing journey, and it spoke directly to my heart. It also spoke to my love of adventure and exploration. 20 years ago I traveled quite a bit, as the owner of Breakaway Adventure Travel but my wanderlust hasn’t been given much free rein while I’ve been in parenting mode for the last 19 years. A little here and there but this big journey seemed to come at just the right time. After a killer cold and snowy winter in Colorado, I was more than ready to say YES!

I love that we are in a beach area where things are relaxed and people live close to the land. It’s a simpler and colorful life. Certainly it’s not without it’s difficulties but I’ve noticed in my travels that often the less people have, the more friendly and grateful they are.

We’ve visited 2 beaches so far – one, Vagator was a beautiful setting in a cove with rock formations. We climbed down about 50 steps to get there and settled into some beach chairs with palm-frond coverings. While I liked the setting, we were visited non-stop by women selling sarongs, jewelry and henna applications. We did make some purchases but it was interesting to notice how some, once we said, ‘ok, no more, thanks’, got a bit huffy and annoyed. Since I hadn’t slept for 24 hours I noticed I was getting frustrated and losing patience

After a fantastic 12 hour sleep (a new record I think!) we headed to today’s beach, Morjim, which was quieter and had a beautiful, long stretch to walk with endless waves breaking. It was absolutely more relaxing with only a few people coming by to ask if we wanted a cold drink from one of the restaurant shacks that lined the beach behind us. We boogey boarded and read and had a delicious lunch of tandori chicken and fresh fish. Simple fare, just what you need on a hot day in paradise.

I can feel myself slowing down. I will send some blogs but also take time away from ‘reporting’ to just Be. Traveling somewhere where no one knows you is a great way to explore the question “Who am I now?” You get to notice how you’re responding to new surroundings and what kind of thoughts are occupying your mind. Checking in with your Inner State helps to create full choice on who you get to Be in each moment.

Try it in your life, whether home or exploring parts unknown. Where are you reacting to life, not responding? What beliefs might be limiting the full expression of who you are? Send me a response and let me know what you discover.

Stayed tuned to for more ramblings from the road!

Victoria