Some days the world comes at you at 90 miles an hour – ie, either endless small non-stop challenges, or big challenges that take your time and heart away from what you think you need to be doing.
It can sure be overwhelming! We all have connections to so many people and things – as part of the interconnected web we’re a part of – each one brings joy and fulfillment sometimes and new challenges for growth and learning at other times.
The past couple weeks I’ve had one of those big challenges facing me and it requires me to change. To change how I’ve been in relationship with someone who I care deeply for. Which in some way is like a break-up. Since I’ve been married for 22 years, and this person is not my husband (whew), i
t’s been quite awhile since I’ve ‘done’ break-up. I’m not used to the many feelings and emotions I’ve had arise. This had required me to stretch myself for sure.
How do you handle all the feelings that loss brings up? What keeps you centered as you go through letting go? (I’ll discuss the Letting Go part in another blog soon)
I have a big basket of tools (thankfully!) but that doesn’t mean I don’t get so caught up in feeling that I forget them. Humanity is a never-ending experience! This week, as I felt myself struggling, I recognized that it was time to connect with a tool, as the path I was on was turning into a huge downer.
What tool worked this time? Well it’s usually a combination of a couple but the one I want to highlight here is: Doing the Laundry! Surprise! Surprised? Yup, it worked for a number of reasons. Here are a few:
- Creating order from chaos – when change shows up, it can turn our nicely organized world into chaos. We all want some measure of control over life – sometimes though, it’s just not going to happen in the area of change. So if I turn my attention to something else – something I can have an effect on in a positive way, it brings me more breathing space to settle down.
- Feeling Productive – when I do the laundry, at the end I have an outcome that pleases me. Nice warm piles of folded clothes. This alone warms up my heart and begins to soften me towards the change I need to embrace with an Open Heart.
- Making a Difference – if I do the laundry for me and my husband, I know I’m making a difference. It may not save the world but we each have fresh clothes to wear that are ready to go. Making my life and someone I care about’s life a little easier also expands my heart.
Just living these 3 values I notice the positive effect on me. I am not so triggered by the changes facing me and now, I can start to let go. There’s more breathing room. I can start to see more possibility in the change — what doors are opening that had been closed? What new aliveness is possible in me? A fresh perspective becomes available – expansion and magic are back at work. I’m no longer in freak-out, emotionally triggered mode. I can see and then take my next step.
Are you dealing with Change? Has it got you off in Never-never Land? Try this simple way to realign yourself with yourself. Let me know how it goes!
To the living the Change Journey with Grace,