Posts Tagged ‘authentic’

Whoosh Whoosh – outta bed at the crack of dawn, serving the demands of others the whole day through?   Have you even brushed your teeth?  I am noticing, on a very intimate cellular level, that the speed of Everything is increasing hourly.  Can this be possible?  I think so!

The danger here is that before we have that millisecond to catch our collective breath (remind me to come back to the breath in a moment), things will have teetered off the edge and ‘up the creek without a paddle’ will sound like a walk in the park compared to the new reality we’ll be living in.

My mission is to get you to STOP AND RETREAT.  Even just for a day.  If I can get you for a weekend, then there’s an even better chance that you might be guided to the place of softening… even melting is possible.  There in the fuzzy-focused place things will be seen differently. Visions you stopped dreaming long ago will reappear and begin to crystallize into a blossoming truth.  Your Truth. Your Authentic Knowing.  Your own sweet and inspired Clarity about what’s what.

Honestly I’m scared.  Scared that I won’t get you in time.  That the long ago dreams will have completely dematerialized and be forever gone.  I hope not but if it’s a race with that Ugly Ole Time-Obsessed , Life-Managing, I’ve-Never-Done-Enough-So-Don’t-Stop Gremlin, I’m gonna need more support than ever to get your attention.

How can I steer you this way?  What spark of aliveness can I wave in front of you?   How can I find the words that will be enough?  The truth is I don’t know.  And what works for one, will not work for the next one.   So all I can do is BE IT.  Allow my own Wild Soul not to hide.  Allow her to share with you the joy o f being in relationship with All That Is.  See those aspens over there?  Can you feel how those dazzling oranges are reflecting the light in my soul too?  Feel the beat of that song? The music is magic and my heart is helpless before it.  Looking into the vulnerable eyes of my friend and seeing her bravery in the face of more tragedy than I’ve ever known – I am humbled in our shared humanity and instant connectedness through love.  All these are the language of my Wild Soul.

Yes, I'm listening... Are you?

Making each moment mean something.  Living deeper and deeper, even though it requires bringing down the walls of judgment and comparing and hiding what isn’t perfect.

Are you game?  Are you seeking the place to pause and Breathe?  Knowing that in the suspended place between inhale and exhale lies the treasure you are.   Let’s go together.  I don’t know exactly what we’ll find but I’ve been traveling here a long while and can help when fear seeps in.  I’ve learned many tools to read the map of the heart.  And I am a spiritual warrior for calling forth courage and badger-like devotion to your Wild Soul.

If you’re ready, Come.  If you’re Willing, Join me.  If you know that you’ve already waited too long, Answer the call of your own Wild Soul.

Certified Coach/Retreat Leader Victoria FittsMilgrim choreographs Retreats and a 1:1 Coaching Practice in Durango, CO. Her last retreat for 2010 is Journey with Your Wild Soul November 19-21 in the Canyon of the Ancients in southwestern Colorado.  Space is limited and registration is open now.  Contact Victoria at Victoria@truelifecoach.net .

When I was 35 I did my first Vision Quest near Great Falls, Montana at 4000 acre Blacktail Ranch.  It was part of a 2 week Deepening Spirit Camp with my teacher Brooke Medicine Eagle, with about 20 women from all over the U.S.  Towards the end of our time together, we each scouted a spot on the land that called to us, Brooke led a sweat lodge to purify ourselves and then we each headed out for an overnight alone on that beautiful land.  Over the next 24 hours I conversed with seen and unseen Wild Spirits.  By the time I returned I had a clear vision of what my next steps were.  There would be challenges to my success but after this experience I had the confidence to know I could handle whatever came up.  That was 20 years ago!  I’m still reaping wisdom from that first quest and the ones that followed it.
 
On one of my Quests, as I tried to fall asleep in my sleeping bag on a bed of summer grasses, I felt something around my feet – OMG, I thought, I’m about to be eaten!  The fear that gripped my chest was like a vise; the deep pounding of my heart was all I could hear.  For at least an hour I lay there, afraid to open my eyes, scared to find out just what was nibbling at my bag.  Something… it had to be big, scary and ready to devour me.  I was soooo sure of it.  Shine a flashlight on it?  No Way!  Too Scared!!  Finally it must’ve stopped and I fell asleep.

Upon awakening I could see little tiny teeth marks and chewed goose down feathers at the end of my sleeping bag.  Whatever it was, it sure had some small teeth – probably a chipmunk or mouse.  All my fear had kept me stuck – unable to even see what it was.  I had to laugh out loud.  My supposedly indomitable spirit put to shame by a creature no bigger than my hand. I blushed at the ridiculousness of it all.  Stuck in the dark, unable to move, I had no way to know what it was or how to make it stop. 

What fears keep you stuck?  What are you afraid to explore?  How does closing your eyes or staying a course even when it doesn’t work, hold you back from your dreams?  What hidden commitments have you got going on that keep you from realizing what you truly and deeply want today? Keep you from expressing your unique life purpose? Oh, and what is that purpose anyway??

If you’re ready for the tools to uncover the hidden commitments that your fear of change have generated, and define and celebrate the wonder of you and the special gifts you have, check out my premier summer retreat Quest for your True Life: Embracing Change with an Open Heart. (www.truelifecoach.net/summerretreats2010.htm) It’s in the middle of August, the perfect time for ripening your beauty and spirit.  We’ll meet at Horseshoe Lodge, an environmental center in the mountains of southeast Colorado.   Just thinking about the smell of the warm summer wind through the pines makes my heart expand.

I still love Quests  – and so each summer I lead a group of amazing women (YOU!) to explore, have fun and grow together on retreat.   This one has a one day vision quest for you (not an overnight ) to discover your deepest longings and purpose, and the changes you can make that will bring them alive – manifesting  your full expression.   The Quest is wrapped in 5 more days of meditation, hiking, soulful art, dancing, journal writing, solitude and group coaching circles -  come be celebrated, seen and loved.  Join me for this one-of-a-kind women’s retreat – I can’t wait to share it with you!

Victoria

Thanksgiving is just around the corner.  So much to do… so much to be grateful for!  I have done so many different things for this holiday over the years – it is truly one of my favorites.  Perhaps because it’s non-denominational – everyone gets to join in, without judgment about beliefs or points of view.

Although we all know that that can disappear quickly when traditional families come together since just because we grew up together, doesn’t mean we share the same view or philosophy of life.  Sometimes the joy of this gathering time can be dispelled by arguments and clashes of opinion.  So should we even bother sitting down together?

Since I was 18 and moved 2000 miles away from my family, one of my great joys over the years has been to share Thanksgiving with friends – an adopted family.  The blessings of this scenario is that I’m with people who
a) love me
b) share similar values
c) like to eat and eat well
d) will put on the same music after dinner, cajoling one another to dance around the living room!

They represent my tribe.  What is a tribe anyway, since it’s something I find myself in conversation with clients about often.  I guess I think we have many tribes to claim allegiance to.  Each group can represent a different part of ourselves.  For me, today, this is certainly true.  Here’s an example of what I mean:

1) My traditional family – including divorces and remarriages w/ members scattered across the country and even the globe
2) My closest friends – while many are scattered, these are the ones in my town that I love the most
3) My Power Dance girls – we share a love for dancing that fuels our Souls, which is why we often refer it class as the Church of Power Dance!
4) Other Mothers I know from my daughter’s friends
5) My clients! One of the benefits of being a Coach is that you can create fantastic relationships with your clients that allow you to enjoy them beyond the scope of coaching.  If like attracts like, why wouldn’t I love them too?
6) My Colleagues – these can be local relationships or thanks to the internet, around the world!

You can see that the expression Tribe can encompass so many interests and connections.  Commonality and the pull of that.  I like it best when it doesn’t come with ‘shoulds’, expectations and judgments.  When I feel accepted just for my regular, non-perfect self.  I’ll admit that that is where I usually choose to be on Thanksgiving because the company is even more nourishing than the food.

Where will you be?  Who will surround you at the table?  No matter who’s there, show up as yourself.  Share what matters to you and be a good listener.  Sometimes, when you think there’s no one there who understands you, you just might be surprised. 

In gratitude,
Victoria 

Here’s a beautiful Fall image called Circle of Life by Laura Gerry.  A wreath that connects us to the natural world without whom we couldn’t survive.  Another reminder of gratitude.

“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.” (Robert A. Heinlein – Time Enough for Love)

This quote by Robert Heinlein sure puts out the freedom here to everyone who ever thought they should fit into just one box! I am a multi-faceted being and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Of course, sometimes I forget, being human, and think I am just one thing and, that one thing and how it’s going represents my total contribution in this world – what poppycock! (love using that word)  Recently I got a lovely reminder about this from a documentary I saw on Neil Young (former member of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young). He spoke of having to follow his creative muse, no matter what others thought he should being doing – that he could venture off onto any path that beckoned his creative juices. What a beautiful permission letter – on the most perfect stationary, written in my favorite font, with a golden calligraphy pen!

My business evolves as I do.  While one year I might create one thing, I don’t have to repeat it if it no longer fits me or my clients.  I can adapt with flexibility.  I can engage inside myself and see what is calling to me – where the spark is for my passion today.  This keeps a real aliveness present as I meet myself where I am.

Where are you limiting yourself because you think you have to do it a certain way?  What is actually present for you now?  What would bring your passion alive?  And here’s the most fearless question of all:  What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?

I’d love to hear your comments on this, or any of my posts.  Let’s bring forth your authentic self now!

To living the joy, wherever it shows up,
Victoria

Whew – August was quite a month! Actually it was quite a summer – Big Retreats and lots of Leading. I found a week ago when I got home that I really needed to kick back, put it all down and just veg for a bit. While it’s nice to be in demand, I so appreciate the balance of stillness and letting go of so many agendas.

Over the years I’ve been complimented on how I continue to find new and creative ways to reach out. Well, I’m here to say that that wouldn’t be possible without taking periods of time to just stare out the window or take a beauty walk or sometimes – a nap!  Wearing the many hats of an entrepreneur calls for so much focus – at times it’s necessary to shut it all down and open other doors of perception. I find this a huge gift and generally it leads to rejuvenation and new creativity!

So what did I learn this summer that would be useful to you on your journey? Two lessons really emerged from this active summer: The first is around building a spiritual practice as the foundation for my life. Making a daily routine out of checking-in each morning and calling to the Divine have brought me joy, humility and more gratitude for all that I have. I found, simultaneously, that in really bringing my attention to this, a whole lot more attraction showed up as well around my business offerings.

I’ve heard people talk of a philosophy of life where you first need to HAVE (money), so that you can DO (what you love), so that you will BE (happy/authentic). The HAVE/DO/BE philosophy. I think they have it backwards! Especially noticing that the happy/authentic part comes after everything else! (Very delayed gratification!) I prefer to reverse it so it becomes: BE (who you are), honor your gifts by Doing what you love, to HAVE what you need. – BE/DO/HAVE. From this perspective, my coaching and retreats focus on Being your Authentic Self first. This requires devoting time to deep listening and entering a relationship with your Soulful self. When you have and nurture that special connection with You, an authentic presence shows up. It’s this magnetic force of embracing your True self that attracts people and opportunities to your door.

The second lesson was about the power of invisibility as a Leader. I can’t think of any real role models in my earlier life for this way of leading. I was always taught that to be a Leader you should be Big and Strong and Boldly out Front (driven by the popular culture and media). Those were the accepted kind of leaders I saw at school, in our community or out in the world. While I’ve had the chance this summer to be at the ‘front of the room’ or showing the way at times, what I’ve noticed is that there’s an invisibility factor also at work. By being fully myself, by setting that tone and holding a stake for there to be safe space and compassion for all, something else has emerged. The Invisible Leader. If I’d chosen the path of a consultant, providing others with all their solutions, I probably wouldn’t be too happy about this. But in coaching, where the belief is that the client has their own answers, this is a perfect style to bring. For me, it’s taken the practice of seeing what works and what doesn’t in real time, continuing to be a learner and the desire for participants to gain the most from their own inner wisdom that has helped me to provide the space for them to shine their brightest.

As I reflect on my clients, both in private coaching and on the retreats of this summer, I see a lot of growth, cracking open and willingness to step off cliffs and fly… to try new things, to deepen that inner relationship and to take their own stand for what truly matters. So while I may be a bit tired, my heart flutters with joy and fulfillment as I look closely at and celebrate all these wonderful, emergent leaders and the choices they’re making for their True Life!