Posts Tagged ‘life coach’

When was the last time you felt connected to your Wild Soul?

Whoosh Whoosh – outta bed at the crack of dawn, serving the demands of others the whole day through?   Have you even brushed your teeth?  I am noticing, on a very intimate cellular level, that the speed of Everything is increasing hourly.  Can this be possible?  I think so!

The danger here is that before we have that millisecond to catch our collective breath (remind me to come back to the breath in a moment), things will have teetered off the edge and ‘up the creek without a paddle’ will sound like a walk in the park compared to the new reality we’ll be living in.

My mission is to get you to STOP AND RETREAT.  Even just for a day.  If I can get you for a weekend, then there’s an even better chance that you might be guided to the place of softening… even melting is possible.  There in the fuzzy-focused place things will be seen differently. Visions you stopped dreaming long ago will reappear and begin to crystallize into a blossoming truth.  Your Truth. Your Authentic Knowing.  Your own sweet and inspired Clarity about what’s what.

Honestly I’m scared.  Scared that I won’t get you in time.  That the long ago dreams will have completely dematerialized and be forever gone.  I hope not but if it’s a race with that Ugly Ole Time-Obsessed , Life-Managing, I’ve-Never-Done-Enough-So-Don’t-Stop Gremlin, I’m gonna need more support than ever to get your attention.

How can I steer you this way?  What spark of aliveness can I wave in front of you?   How can I find the words that will be enough?  The truth is I don’t know.  And what works for one, will not work for the next one.   So all I can do is BE IT.  Allow my own Wild Soul not to hide.  Allow her to share with you the joy o f being in relationship with All That Is.  See those aspens over there?  Can you feel how those dazzling oranges are reflecting the light in my soul too?  Feel the beat of that song? The music is magic and my heart is helpless before it.  Looking into the vulnerable eyes of my friend and seeing her bravery in the face of more tragedy than I’ve ever known – I am humbled in our shared humanity and instant connectedness through love.  All these are the language of my Wild Soul.

Yes, I'm listening... Are you?

Making each moment mean something.  Living deeper and deeper, even though it requires bringing down the walls of judgment and comparing and hiding what isn’t perfect.

Are you game?  Are you seeking the place to pause and Breathe?  Knowing that in the suspended place between inhale and exhale lies the treasure you are.   Let’s go together.  I don’t know exactly what we’ll find but I’ve been traveling here a long while and can help when fear seeps in.  I’ve learned many tools to read the map of the heart.  And I am a spiritual warrior for calling forth courage and badger-like devotion to your Wild Soul.

If you’re ready, Come.  If you’re Willing, Join me.  If you know that you’ve already waited too long, Answer the call of your own Wild Soul.

Certified Coach/Retreat Leader Victoria FittsMilgrim choreographs Retreats and a 1:1 Coaching Practice in Durango, CO. Her last retreat for 2010 is Journey with Your Wild Soul November 19-21 in the Canyon of the Ancients in southwestern Colorado.  Space is limited and registration is open now.  Contact Victoria at .

THE RICHNESS OF SUMMER – Nourishment from Ripened Fruit

I love this time of year – the dance that occurs between the cool rainy monsoons, the voice of the thunder and vibration of lightning and the endless green that covers the mountains just lights up my soul!  Everything is ripening – coming into it’s fullness.  Whether it’s tomatoes or peaches, we’re being gifted with the bounty all around us.  Do you see it?  Are you having an experience of it?  What does this season bring to your life? What wants to happen for you?

I feel like I’ve been on the move this past month, creating things that nourish me at the deepest level…. flower therapy in the mountains… learning to salsa dance with my husband… and sharing a wood-fired hot tub with my beautiful women friends at an awesome cabin in the high country.  At the same time, I’ve noticed that all these things have brought me a quality of awareness, of noticing that while some things are in full bloom, others are slowing and changing.  With my only daughter leaving soon for college, I have moments of clarity where I can feel the excitement for her just starting in life, while I know for me a huge chapter of my life – the intimacy of raising a child – is ending.  There’s all the poignancy and bittersweetness I can imagine holding.  Some days the tears just come and I sit in awe of how much I can love one person.

The bigger picture here is all about the Paradox that calls me to stretch myself into a being that can hold opposites at the same time.  This is a Quest, for sure, one I’ll be working with for years to come.  The clincher is that the outer world is not on this Quest with me – daily I’m bombarded (as we all are) with black/white scenarios that are lose/lose in my opinion.

In the article below, the conversation is about being a Visionary.  Well, I believe that the qualities of being one are also qualities that are just plain necessary to keep stretching myself and going forward on my Quest.  Here are some of them – in my own language of living your True Life

Living in the Mystery – Oh, we humans think we have control over things and that’s such misinformation!  Life is a Mystery and our job is to trust the unfolding.  I know this continually calls me to BE PATIENT and HAVE TRUST.  It’s one of the hardest lessons and yet, when I am there, peace is at hand.

Relax! In recent work I’ve done on some of my own ‘immunities to change’ I’ve gotten to see how ‘relaxing’ wasn’t something really modeled for me growing up.  While I’ve always loved to play and am better balanced, I still see areas that I can drive myself (crazy), working and pushing to ‘make’ this or that happen.  I know this tightens up my energy – contracts it actually.  So stepping away and finding a soul-centered activity can settle me down and return me to the abundance and flow.  When I take things on again, I am more grounded, calm and vibrating a whole different way!

Active Waiting – I included in this month’s newsletter the wisdom of Lao Tzu, writer of the I-Ching.  He’s describing a way of being that is so valuable, and definitely not given much credence by our society.  Instead of always feeling pressured to act – and often before one is clear – make time to get quiet and listen.  What wants to happen?  This stance of stillness allows things to unfold, but with mindfulness present.  Then when you say “Yes”, it’s a complete investment of you.

Co-Create What Matters – The Superwoman (or Man) archetype has run out of steam.  Doing everything perfect and by yourself won’t work – it really never was sustainable.  We are one community, one planet.  How can I engage more synergistically with other like-minded people (my tribe!)?  Where do I need to ask for help?  Bringing the diversity and creativity of many together helps create the contribution that has the most impact.  We are the ones we’ve been waiting for – let’s inspire one another!

Know Yourself – When you take the time to get to know yourself – the whole enchilada that’s you – you can keep a stronger focus on what your livelihood is; what you’re meant to bring to the world.  We each have a unique gift and finding its expression brings a lot of fulfillment and joy.  Healing and wholeness within myself ripples out and helps create the change in others too.  Give yourself full permission to develop a relationship with your inner Beloved.  Then you’ll be your own best friend and treat yourself with the love and respect you deserve.

Faith in Source -  When you know yourself, you come to know Source, as we are microcosms of that great macrocosm.   Not something reached through the usually dependable 5 senses, this place of Source is reached through direct knowing.  It’s very rarely explainable in any rational way.  Faith implies putting our trust in something we can’t see or touch, but have experienced.   It’s remembering the connection that links us all. It’s remembering we’re not alone.  It’s coming home again.

While I’ve discovered these gifts for living, I always need reminders to use them.  It’s easy to fall into a sleeping state as I move through life.  So many conflicting messages coming at me, it would be easy to just get lazy and be swayed by cultural/familial/relationship winds.  But, I am committed to growing and stretching into becoming a fully realized human being.  Will you join me?  Let’s share the richness of ripened fruit together!


A New View in Another World… and My World


This is a topsy turvy world… and oh so much slower than America.  I just have let go of moving at my old pace.  That’s probably one of the best things about being here, even though it can frustrating in the beginning.  Also I’m traveling with 5 other people – 2 adults and 3 kids – and anytime you move as a tribe, the whole thing gets slower.  Since that’s what is, I will let go and surrender to it.

We’ve seen some amazing places – the Hindu temples we visited were sacred places of connection to Spirit – whether you follow Ganesh, the Remover of Obstacles (wow – don’t we all need help with that!?) or whoever, they lead me to take a few slower breaths and consider all that I have and slip into much gratitude.  Even when just scootering along, there’s so much EXTREME simple living – we call it poverty – I can’t help but consider how I usually live and how much I have.
Last night we went to a local market/party in Baga, a nearby beach town.   We’d been to a market in the daytime before but the night brought out tons of people and it was fun to see everything lit up.  There was a band and a guy who combined mime and crumping (street dance) who was great!  Tons of things to buy.  I did get a friend a beautiful sari for a wedding present and one for me too, but my highlight was getting a henna tattoo.  I’ve seen them on a lot of ankles but considering I would be coming home and not exactly experiencing the summer temps that are here, I went for my hand.  The best part about it is that every couple minutes I see it and go: “Whoa, what’s that?!”  And it’s a beautiful reminder that life is not just what you already know.  There’s a whole bigger world to explore and learn from.   And it also reminds me of the southern India temple dancers – their beauty and self-expression through movement.  Since we’re all connected, I’m a part of that too.

What about you?  How do you step out of automatic living and refresh your view of life?  Would love to see your thoughts about that…

From the other side of the world,


What Would You do if You Knew You Couldn’t Fail?

“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.” (Robert A. Heinlein – Time Enough for Love)

This quote by Robert Heinlein sure puts out the freedom here to everyone who ever thought they should fit into just one box! I am a multi-faceted being and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Of course, sometimes I forget, being human, and think I am just one thing and, that one thing and how it’s going represents my total contribution in this world – what poppycock! (love using that word)  Recently I got a lovely reminder about this from a documentary I saw on Neil Young (former member of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young). He spoke of having to follow his creative muse, no matter what others thought he should being doing – that he could venture off onto any path that beckoned his creative juices. What a beautiful permission letter – on the most perfect stationary, written in my favorite font, with a golden calligraphy pen!

My business evolves as I do.  While one year I might create one thing, I don’t have to repeat it if it no longer fits me or my clients.  I can adapt with flexibility.  I can engage inside myself and see what is calling to me – where the spark is for my passion today.  This keeps a real aliveness present as I meet myself where I am.

Where are you limiting yourself because you think you have to do it a certain way?  What is actually present for you now?  What would bring your passion alive?  And here’s the most fearless question of all:  What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?

I’d love to hear your comments on this, or any of my posts.  Let’s bring forth your authentic self now!

To living the joy, wherever it shows up,

Take Your Soul Off the Shelf

Today I was listening to an old Bonnie Raitt song – it starts:

“These men that I’ve been seeing,

Got their soul up on a shelf…”

Actually it’s a Chris Smithers song and I’ve known it for almost 30 years!  Yikes, I’m dating myself there.  Anyway, I couldn’t get that line out of my head — soul up on the shelf.  Forget the men – I work with many women who put their soul up on a shelf many moons ago and are longing to find it again.  It’s fascinating to me how that happens and then there’s this subtle awakening that occurs.  A realization – I’m not living my life as who I really am.  But then who am I?

This sort of inner identity crisis can happen at almost any age.  Yesterday a woman came up to me at a booth I had at a local Oktoberfest and the first sentence out of her mouth was “I’ve lost myself.”  This, of course, was accompanied by her beautiful brown eyes tearing up.  That moment, where she let herself, her façade, crack open for just a second, was fleeting.  Just a sentence or 2 later, she was asking me if her mascara was running.  She had just turned 50 but I can assure you, I’ve heard this same thing from women 45 or 39 or even 30 and 26.  How it breaks my heart to see the pain that they have and yet they work so hard at not addressing it.

That is, until they get a bigger wake up call.  I heard a story years ago about how your True Life will come knocking on your door, asking to be let in, to be seen and heard.  And yet if you don’t answer – if you pass it off as not important because you’re not paying attention or you never consider your own inner world because you’re always care-taking others or climbing the corporate ladder or slaying dragons, it will return.   Only louder the next time.  Sometimes it takes a big sklonk (is that a word?) on the head to get your attention.  Unfortunately, your True Life, has no qualms about blowing the whole house down if that’s what it takes to wake you up.  Ouch!  Not my favorite way to wake up, I can tell you that.

So what do I have to offer here?  So much! So many offerings that are all about waking up and coming home to who you truly are.  The edge of having a coach – someone there next to you, who’s categorically committed to you having what you dream of.  Retreats – unhooking from the life that’s not working in order to listen to the deeper callings in a beautiful place, free of the distractions that keep you too busy to look.  Come, check them out.  Your soul is calling and trust me, if you just let go a bit, you will be infinitely rewarded by a journey like no other.  A sacred journey no one can make but you.  Stepping off and calling forth your courage, you will be met in ways you can’t even imagine.  You must.  It’s your chance to pull your soul down off the shelf and befriend it.  You will be gifted with a relationship with your inner Beloved, who has always been there.  The best you there is.  Come now, it is time to come home.

If you would like more information on the Sovereignty Circles group coaching program or the Journey With Your Wild Soul retreat, click on the links to the right.

Learning about Leadership from the Inside Out

moon and venus

Whew – August was quite a month! Actually it was quite a summer – Big Retreats and lots of Leading. I found a week ago when I got home that I really needed to kick back, put it all down and just veg for a bit. While it’s nice to be in demand, I so appreciate the balance of stillness and letting go of so many agendas.

Over the years I’ve been complimented on how I continue to find new and creative ways to reach out. Well, I’m here to say that that wouldn’t be possible without taking periods of time to just stare out the window or take a beauty walk or sometimes – a nap!  Wearing the many hats of an entrepreneur calls for so much focus – at times it’s necessary to shut it all down and open other doors of perception. I find this a huge gift and generally it leads to rejuvenation and new creativity!

So what did I learn this summer that would be useful to you on your journey? Two lessons really emerged from this active summer: The first is around building a spiritual practice as the foundation for my life. Making a daily routine out of checking-in each morning and calling to the Divine have brought me joy, humility and more gratitude for all that I have. I found, simultaneously, that in really bringing my attention to this, a whole lot more attraction showed up as well around my business offerings.

I’ve heard people talk of a philosophy of life where you first need to HAVE (money), so that you can DO (what you love), so that you will BE (happy/authentic). The HAVE/DO/BE philosophy. I think they have it backwards! Especially noticing that the happy/authentic part comes after everything else! (Very delayed gratification!) I prefer to reverse it so it becomes: BE (who you are), honor your gifts by Doing what you love, to HAVE what you need. – BE/DO/HAVE. From this perspective, my coaching and retreats focus on Being your Authentic Self first. This requires devoting time to deep listening and entering a relationship with your Soulful self. When you have and nurture that special connection with You, an authentic presence shows up. It’s this magnetic force of embracing your True self that attracts people and opportunities to your door.

The second lesson was about the power of invisibility as a Leader. I can’t think of any real role models in my earlier life for this way of leading. I was always taught that to be a Leader you should be Big and Strong and Boldly out Front (driven by the popular culture and media). Those were the accepted kind of leaders I saw at school, in our community or out in the world. While I’ve had the chance this summer to be at the ‘front of the room’ or showing the way at times, what I’ve noticed is that there’s an invisibility factor also at work. By being fully myself, by setting that tone and holding a stake for there to be safe space and compassion for all, something else has emerged. The Invisible Leader. If I’d chosen the path of a consultant, providing others with all their solutions, I probably wouldn’t be too happy about this. But in coaching, where the belief is that the client has their own answers, this is a perfect style to bring. For me, it’s taken the practice of seeing what works and what doesn’t in real time, continuing to be a learner and the desire for participants to gain the most from their own inner wisdom that has helped me to provide the space for them to shine their brightest.

As I reflect on my clients, both in private coaching and on the retreats of this summer, I see a lot of growth, cracking open and willingness to step off cliffs and fly… to try new things, to deepen that inner relationship and to take their own stand for what truly matters. So while I may be a bit tired, my heart flutters with joy and fulfillment as I look closely at and celebrate all these wonderful, emergent leaders and the choices they’re making for their True Life!


Dance with Heart

Welcome to this new creation from Victoria FittsMilgrim, True Life Coach & Retreat Leader!

Welcome to the Dance with your Authentic Heart!

As a former dancer (seems like another lifetime ago, and yet I have continued performing well past 40!), I know just how fast a performance can go by.  In the twinkling of an eye, you’ve stepped onto the stage, somehow managed to use your fear and excitement as adrenaline to dance your heart out, and then it’s over.

So when I considered naming this blog, the dance seemed a perfect title for what it will be.  It’s not the whole journey, it’s not every gem of wisdom I have gathered over my life’s journey–no, it’s like a piece of choreography, a response of the moment that has formed out of my authentic heart and begs to be shared.

What I want to share with you is the experience of living connected to my authentic self – and I know that that arises from my heart.  Too much living in our heads, I say!  We need so badly to move into a more balanced state of living; to engage in conversation with our sacred inner Beloved.

For me this is directly connected to the balancing that is needed on our planet.  We are holographic creations of the meta-space of our world.  The masculine has held sway for over 2000 years and now we need a righting of things.  The heart holds the vision; the mind can implement it using the body as its tool. But it is the heart that will create a vision worthy of manifestation–one that empowers self and others and contributes to the forwarding of consciousness here on Earth.

So there you go!  That little piece of choreography just was born in this Tuesday morning moment.  Does it make you think about your authentic self?  Who are you?  What is your Heart saying to you?  Are you listening? 

Please come and dance with me here at this safe and authentic space.  I want to hear the creative musings of your authentic heart.

In peace and to fully being alive,

EVENING PRESENTATION – MANCOS, CO The Heroine's Journey – The Feminine Path To Change For The 21st Century Thursday, Sept. 29 6:30-8:30pm Kaleidoscope Healing Center, Mancos, CO SPACE LIMITED: Call (970)259-9040 to hold a seat.

NEW GROUP COACHING PROGRAM BY PHONE Sovereignty Circles – A True Life of Your Own 12 week teleseminar led by Victoria FittsMilgrim, PCC Starts Sept. 19, 2011 Coaching, group support, powerful and effective tools to reclaim your autonomy. Sovereignty Circles Group Coaching

October 28 – 30, 2011 Register Now! Only a few spots left! Heroine's Journey Weekend Retreat