Posts Tagged ‘victoria fittsmilgrim’

Journey Back to Fun and Adventure that Nourishes Your Soul

Have you noticed how things are getting pretty crazy on our spinning planet? Over the last 10 years, since we entered this new millennium, life has become more and more complex and more and more is asked of us. Have you noticed yourself on a Hamster Wheel? Are you feeling exhausted, burned out and wondering:

If My Life’s a Journey, where is the path? How can I make a difference? And how will I ever get out from under my To Do List???!!

Let’s look at your To Do List? How many fun or adventurous things are on your list? Do you think you’re giving yourself the care… the exquisite self-care that you truly deserve?

In my decade of coaching others I’ve learned that one can’t have a clear, grounded connection to who you are and be your best self, when you don’t take in the time to invest in the relationship with You. Of course you invest in your business, maybe you invest in your marriage and friendships with others but hardly in your own BEINGNESS. Not Doing – Just Being. Becoming deeply connected to your True Self.

You know there’s a price you’re paying, right? It’s the stress and anxiety that wake you up at 3am wondering, ‘ How will I ever get through it?’ The American Heart Association has reported that one in 3 women will develop heart disease in their life and DIE FROM IT! Why is that happening to women?! No HEART CARE! When we live entirely from our neck up, under the thumb of that To Do List, we lose all the fun and adventure from our lives.

Can you remember what it felt like to be a kid and just BE… just do nothing… have no responsibilities? Just gazing at a river or noticing new daffodils beginning to show their heads in springtime?

Only you can make the choice to slow down and give yourself a chance to unhook from our crazy world. I know you know the cost of choosing to stay on the Hamster Wheel – why not turn in a different direction, step away from the busy world and use Nature as your way to return home to yourself. After leading 100’s of people on fun adventures in nature, I can assure you, that with an experienced and compassionate guide, you’ll be more than glad you did! Nothing nourishes your Soul like a True Life Retreat!

Victoria FittsMilgrim, Certified Professional Coach and Retreat Leader
True Life Coaching & Retreats
Durango, Colorado

When was the last time you felt connected to your Wild Soul?

Whoosh Whoosh – outta bed at the crack of dawn, serving the demands of others the whole day through?   Have you even brushed your teeth?  I am noticing, on a very intimate cellular level, that the speed of Everything is increasing hourly.  Can this be possible?  I think so!

The danger here is that before we have that millisecond to catch our collective breath (remind me to come back to the breath in a moment), things will have teetered off the edge and ‘up the creek without a paddle’ will sound like a walk in the park compared to the new reality we’ll be living in.

My mission is to get you to STOP AND RETREAT.  Even just for a day.  If I can get you for a weekend, then there’s an even better chance that you might be guided to the place of softening… even melting is possible.  There in the fuzzy-focused place things will be seen differently. Visions you stopped dreaming long ago will reappear and begin to crystallize into a blossoming truth.  Your Truth. Your Authentic Knowing.  Your own sweet and inspired Clarity about what’s what.

Honestly I’m scared.  Scared that I won’t get you in time.  That the long ago dreams will have completely dematerialized and be forever gone.  I hope not but if it’s a race with that Ugly Ole Time-Obsessed , Life-Managing, I’ve-Never-Done-Enough-So-Don’t-Stop Gremlin, I’m gonna need more support than ever to get your attention.

How can I steer you this way?  What spark of aliveness can I wave in front of you?   How can I find the words that will be enough?  The truth is I don’t know.  And what works for one, will not work for the next one.   So all I can do is BE IT.  Allow my own Wild Soul not to hide.  Allow her to share with you the joy o f being in relationship with All That Is.  See those aspens over there?  Can you feel how those dazzling oranges are reflecting the light in my soul too?  Feel the beat of that song? The music is magic and my heart is helpless before it.  Looking into the vulnerable eyes of my friend and seeing her bravery in the face of more tragedy than I’ve ever known – I am humbled in our shared humanity and instant connectedness through love.  All these are the language of my Wild Soul.

Yes, I'm listening... Are you?

Making each moment mean something.  Living deeper and deeper, even though it requires bringing down the walls of judgment and comparing and hiding what isn’t perfect.

Are you game?  Are you seeking the place to pause and Breathe?  Knowing that in the suspended place between inhale and exhale lies the treasure you are.   Let’s go together.  I don’t know exactly what we’ll find but I’ve been traveling here a long while and can help when fear seeps in.  I’ve learned many tools to read the map of the heart.  And I am a spiritual warrior for calling forth courage and badger-like devotion to your Wild Soul.

If you’re ready, Come.  If you’re Willing, Join me.  If you know that you’ve already waited too long, Answer the call of your own Wild Soul.

Certified Coach/Retreat Leader Victoria FittsMilgrim choreographs Retreats and a 1:1 Coaching Practice in Durango, CO. Her last retreat for 2010 is Journey with Your Wild Soul November 19-21 in the Canyon of the Ancients in southwestern Colorado.  Space is limited and registration is open now.  Contact Victoria at .

THE RICHNESS OF SUMMER – Nourishment from Ripened Fruit

I love this time of year – the dance that occurs between the cool rainy monsoons, the voice of the thunder and vibration of lightning and the endless green that covers the mountains just lights up my soul!  Everything is ripening – coming into it’s fullness.  Whether it’s tomatoes or peaches, we’re being gifted with the bounty all around us.  Do you see it?  Are you having an experience of it?  What does this season bring to your life? What wants to happen for you?

I feel like I’ve been on the move this past month, creating things that nourish me at the deepest level…. flower therapy in the mountains… learning to salsa dance with my husband… and sharing a wood-fired hot tub with my beautiful women friends at an awesome cabin in the high country.  At the same time, I’ve noticed that all these things have brought me a quality of awareness, of noticing that while some things are in full bloom, others are slowing and changing.  With my only daughter leaving soon for college, I have moments of clarity where I can feel the excitement for her just starting in life, while I know for me a huge chapter of my life – the intimacy of raising a child – is ending.  There’s all the poignancy and bittersweetness I can imagine holding.  Some days the tears just come and I sit in awe of how much I can love one person.

The bigger picture here is all about the Paradox that calls me to stretch myself into a being that can hold opposites at the same time.  This is a Quest, for sure, one I’ll be working with for years to come.  The clincher is that the outer world is not on this Quest with me – daily I’m bombarded (as we all are) with black/white scenarios that are lose/lose in my opinion.

In the article below, the conversation is about being a Visionary.  Well, I believe that the qualities of being one are also qualities that are just plain necessary to keep stretching myself and going forward on my Quest.  Here are some of them – in my own language of living your True Life

Living in the Mystery – Oh, we humans think we have control over things and that’s such misinformation!  Life is a Mystery and our job is to trust the unfolding.  I know this continually calls me to BE PATIENT and HAVE TRUST.  It’s one of the hardest lessons and yet, when I am there, peace is at hand.

Relax! In recent work I’ve done on some of my own ‘immunities to change’ I’ve gotten to see how ‘relaxing’ wasn’t something really modeled for me growing up.  While I’ve always loved to play and am better balanced, I still see areas that I can drive myself (crazy), working and pushing to ‘make’ this or that happen.  I know this tightens up my energy – contracts it actually.  So stepping away and finding a soul-centered activity can settle me down and return me to the abundance and flow.  When I take things on again, I am more grounded, calm and vibrating a whole different way!

Active Waiting – I included in this month’s newsletter the wisdom of Lao Tzu, writer of the I-Ching.  He’s describing a way of being that is so valuable, and definitely not given much credence by our society.  Instead of always feeling pressured to act – and often before one is clear – make time to get quiet and listen.  What wants to happen?  This stance of stillness allows things to unfold, but with mindfulness present.  Then when you say “Yes”, it’s a complete investment of you.

Co-Create What Matters – The Superwoman (or Man) archetype has run out of steam.  Doing everything perfect and by yourself won’t work – it really never was sustainable.  We are one community, one planet.  How can I engage more synergistically with other like-minded people (my tribe!)?  Where do I need to ask for help?  Bringing the diversity and creativity of many together helps create the contribution that has the most impact.  We are the ones we’ve been waiting for – let’s inspire one another!

Know Yourself – When you take the time to get to know yourself – the whole enchilada that’s you – you can keep a stronger focus on what your livelihood is; what you’re meant to bring to the world.  We each have a unique gift and finding its expression brings a lot of fulfillment and joy.  Healing and wholeness within myself ripples out and helps create the change in others too.  Give yourself full permission to develop a relationship with your inner Beloved.  Then you’ll be your own best friend and treat yourself with the love and respect you deserve.

Faith in Source -  When you know yourself, you come to know Source, as we are microcosms of that great macrocosm.   Not something reached through the usually dependable 5 senses, this place of Source is reached through direct knowing.  It’s very rarely explainable in any rational way.  Faith implies putting our trust in something we can’t see or touch, but have experienced.   It’s remembering the connection that links us all. It’s remembering we’re not alone.  It’s coming home again.

While I’ve discovered these gifts for living, I always need reminders to use them.  It’s easy to fall into a sleeping state as I move through life.  So many conflicting messages coming at me, it would be easy to just get lazy and be swayed by cultural/familial/relationship winds.  But, I am committed to growing and stretching into becoming a fully realized human being.  Will you join me?  Let’s share the richness of ripened fruit together!


When in Struggle with Change, Do the Laundry


Some days the world comes at you at 90 miles an hour – ie, either endless small non-stop challenges, or big challenges that take your time and heart away from what you think you need to be doing. 

It can sure be overwhelming!  We all have connections to so many people and things – as part of the interconnected web we’re a part of – each one brings joy and fulfillment sometimes and new challenges for growth and learning at other times.

The past couple weeks I’ve had one of those big challenges facing me and it requires me to change.  To change how I’ve been in relationship with someone who I care deeply for.  Which in some way is like a break-up.  Since I’ve been married for 22 years, and this person is not my husband (whew), i
t’s been quite awhile since I’ve ‘done’ break-up.  I’m not used to the many feelings and emotions I’ve had arise.  This had required me to stretch myself for sure.

How do you handle all the feelings that loss brings up?  What keeps you centered as you go through letting go? (I’ll discuss the Letting Go part in another blog soon)
I have a big basket of tools (thankfully!) but that doesn’t mean I don’t get so caught up in feeling that I forget them.  Humanity is a never-ending experience!  This week, as I felt myself struggling, I recognized that it was time to connect with a tool, as the path I was on was turning into a huge downer.

What tool worked this time?  Well it’s usually a combination of a couple but the one I want to highlight here is:  Doing the Laundry!  Surprise!  Surprised?  Yup, it worked for a number of reasons.  Here are a few:

  1. Creating order from chaos – when change shows up, it can turn our nicely organized world into chaos.  We all want some measure of control over life – sometimes though, it’s just not going to happen in the area of change.  So if I turn my attention to something else – something I can have an effect on in a positive way, it brings me more breathing space to settle down.
  2. Feeling Productive – when I do the laundry, at the end I have an outcome that pleases me.  Nice warm piles of folded clothes.  This alone warms up my heart and begins to soften me towards the change I need to embrace with an Open Heart
  3. Making a Difference – if I do the laundry for me and my husband, I know I’m making a difference.  It may not save the world but we each have fresh clothes to wear that are ready to go.  Making my life and someone I care about’s life a little easier also expands my heart.

Just living these 3 values I notice the positive effect on me.  I am not so triggered by the changes facing me and now, I can start to let go.  There’s more breathing room.  I can start to see more possibility in the change — what doors are opening that had been closed?  What new aliveness is possible in me?  A fresh perspective becomes available – expansion and magic are back at work.  I’m no longer in freak-out, emotionally triggered mode.  I can see and then take my next step.

Are you dealing with Change?  Has it got you off in Never-never Land?  Try this simple way to realign yourself with yourself.  Let me know how it goes!

To the living the Change Journey with Grace,



When I was 35 I did my first Vision Quest near Great Falls, Montana at 4000 acre Blacktail Ranch.  It was part of a 2 week Deepening Spirit Camp with my teacher Brooke Medicine Eagle, with about 20 women from all over the U.S.  Towards the end of our time together, we each scouted a spot on the land that called to us, Brooke led a sweat lodge to purify ourselves and then we each headed out for an overnight alone on that beautiful land.  Over the next 24 hours I conversed with seen and unseen Wild Spirits.  By the time I returned I had a clear vision of what my next steps were.  There would be challenges to my success but after this experience I had the confidence to know I could handle whatever came up.  That was 20 years ago!  I’m still reaping wisdom from that first quest and the ones that followed it.
On one of my Quests, as I tried to fall asleep in my sleeping bag on a bed of summer grasses, I felt something around my feet – OMG, I thought, I’m about to be eaten!  The fear that gripped my chest was like a vise; the deep pounding of my heart was all I could hear.  For at least an hour I lay there, afraid to open my eyes, scared to find out just what was nibbling at my bag.  Something… it had to be big, scary and ready to devour me.  I was soooo sure of it.  Shine a flashlight on it?  No Way!  Too Scared!!  Finally it must’ve stopped and I fell asleep.

Upon awakening I could see little tiny teeth marks and chewed goose down feathers at the end of my sleeping bag.  Whatever it was, it sure had some small teeth – probably a chipmunk or mouse.  All my fear had kept me stuck – unable to even see what it was.  I had to laugh out loud.  My supposedly indomitable spirit put to shame by a creature no bigger than my hand. I blushed at the ridiculousness of it all.  Stuck in the dark, unable to move, I had no way to know what it was or how to make it stop. 

What fears keep you stuck?  What are you afraid to explore?  How does closing your eyes or staying a course even when it doesn’t work, hold you back from your dreams?  What hidden commitments have you got going on that keep you from realizing what you truly and deeply want today? Keep you from expressing your unique life purpose? Oh, and what is that purpose anyway??

If you’re ready for the tools to uncover the hidden commitments that your fear of change have generated, and define and celebrate the wonder of you and the special gifts you have, check out my premier summer retreat Quest for your True Life: Embracing Change with an Open Heart. ( It’s in the middle of August, the perfect time for ripening your beauty and spirit.  We’ll meet at Horseshoe Lodge, an environmental center in the mountains of southeast Colorado.   Just thinking about the smell of the warm summer wind through the pines makes my heart expand.

I still love Quests  – and so each summer I lead a group of amazing women (YOU!) to explore, have fun and grow together on retreat.   This one has a one day vision quest for you (not an overnight ) to discover your deepest longings and purpose, and the changes you can make that will bring them alive – manifesting  your full expression.   The Quest is wrapped in 5 more days of meditation, hiking, soulful art, dancing, journal writing, solitude and group coaching circles -  come be celebrated, seen and loved.  Join me for this one-of-a-kind women’s retreat – I can’t wait to share it with you!


A New View in Another World… and My World


This is a topsy turvy world… and oh so much slower than America.  I just have let go of moving at my old pace.  That’s probably one of the best things about being here, even though it can frustrating in the beginning.  Also I’m traveling with 5 other people – 2 adults and 3 kids – and anytime you move as a tribe, the whole thing gets slower.  Since that’s what is, I will let go and surrender to it.

We’ve seen some amazing places – the Hindu temples we visited were sacred places of connection to Spirit – whether you follow Ganesh, the Remover of Obstacles (wow – don’t we all need help with that!?) or whoever, they lead me to take a few slower breaths and consider all that I have and slip into much gratitude.  Even when just scootering along, there’s so much EXTREME simple living – we call it poverty – I can’t help but consider how I usually live and how much I have.
Last night we went to a local market/party in Baga, a nearby beach town.   We’d been to a market in the daytime before but the night brought out tons of people and it was fun to see everything lit up.  There was a band and a guy who combined mime and crumping (street dance) who was great!  Tons of things to buy.  I did get a friend a beautiful sari for a wedding present and one for me too, but my highlight was getting a henna tattoo.  I’ve seen them on a lot of ankles but considering I would be coming home and not exactly experiencing the summer temps that are here, I went for my hand.  The best part about it is that every couple minutes I see it and go: “Whoa, what’s that?!”  And it’s a beautiful reminder that life is not just what you already know.  There’s a whole bigger world to explore and learn from.   And it also reminds me of the southern India temple dancers – their beauty and self-expression through movement.  Since we’re all connected, I’m a part of that too.

What about you?  How do you step out of automatic living and refresh your view of life?  Would love to see your thoughts about that…

From the other side of the world,


Scootering in the Slow Lane in India

Well, here I am in Siolim, India, a small town on the southwest coast of the state of Goa. There are palm trees and lovely breezes and I am definitely not in Kansas, oops I mean Colorado, anymore!

I was called here by my friend Patti, already in India, accepting a request to accompany her 3 daughters from Durango to Goa. It was a way that I could support her healing journey, and it spoke directly to my heart. It also spoke to my love of adventure and exploration. 20 years ago I traveled quite a bit, as the owner of Breakaway Adventure Travel but my wanderlust hasn’t been given much free rein while I’ve been in parenting mode for the last 19 years. A little here and there but this big journey seemed to come at just the right time. After a killer cold and snowy winter in Colorado, I was more than ready to say YES!

I love that we are in a beach area where things are relaxed and people live close to the land. It’s a simpler and colorful life. Certainly it’s not without it’s difficulties but I’ve noticed in my travels that often the less people have, the more friendly and grateful they are.

We’ve visited 2 beaches so far – one, Vagator was a beautiful setting in a cove with rock formations. We climbed down about 50 steps to get there and settled into some beach chairs with palm-frond coverings. While I liked the setting, we were visited non-stop by women selling sarongs, jewelry and henna applications. We did make some purchases but it was interesting to notice how some, once we said, ‘ok, no more, thanks’, got a bit huffy and annoyed. Since I hadn’t slept for 24 hours I noticed I was getting frustrated and losing patience

After a fantastic 12 hour sleep (a new record I think!) we headed to today’s beach, Morjim, which was quieter and had a beautiful, long stretch to walk with endless waves breaking. It was absolutely more relaxing with only a few people coming by to ask if we wanted a cold drink from one of the restaurant shacks that lined the beach behind us. We boogey boarded and read and had a delicious lunch of tandori chicken and fresh fish. Simple fare, just what you need on a hot day in paradise.

I can feel myself slowing down. I will send some blogs but also take time away from ‘reporting’ to just Be. Traveling somewhere where no one knows you is a great way to explore the question “Who am I now?” You get to notice how you’re responding to new surroundings and what kind of thoughts are occupying your mind. Checking in with your Inner State helps to create full choice on who you get to Be in each moment.

Try it in your life, whether home or exploring parts unknown. Where are you reacting to life, not responding? What beliefs might be limiting the full expression of who you are? Send me a response and let me know what you discover.

Stayed tuned to for more ramblings from the road!


My Quick and Dirty Road Map on the Highway of Your Dreams

Driving your life into a higher gear doesn’t happen by itself.  You’re at the wheel and to step up the power, you will need certain things.  Here’s my quick and dirty list to help you go from start-up to inspired success!

  1. Creativity & Imagination – By now you’ve probably taken some time to Dream what you want this year to bring.  And if you haven’t, block some personal time now for it.  Nothing goes anywhere without your imagination engaged.  I dreamt up the Vision Board retreat in November and 2 weeks ago 11 amazing women came to engage with their dreams!  Create quiet time without distractions – you know what distracts you: phone, email, kids, partner, pet; so set these things aside in a clear way.  A journal or writing paper, colored markers or your favorite pen to capture the vision.  In stillness, ask yourself: what would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail?  Listen for your true answer.
  2. The Plan – Great ideas are only that if you don’t have a clearly marked Road Map to make them real.  Wishing is just wishing.  Outlining a step-by-step plan gives you the pathway to get where you’re headed. 
  3. Support: Your Cheerleaders – We all need somebody we can lean on (as Mick said)!  What support do you need?  Answer this taking into consideration your Mind, Body and Spirit.  You are not alone – but you have to ask! Who will it be?
  4. Flexibility and Stretch – You know the phrase ‘The best made plans…’?  Things don’t always go as we envision.  Sometimes there’s a better way, a different timing, a new discovery.  Be flexible and listen as you move forward.  When suprises show up, stretch yourself in new ways – you’re bigger than you think! Step into your unique experience and dance with it as a fully engaged partner.
  5. Fuel for the Road – In my life I’ve used these 2 things over and over for success: Devotion and Consistency.  Engage your Passion and keep your lighthouse shining. If you don’t, your dreams won’t know where to find you!

Implementing the items on this list is a surefire way to cruise down the highway to your Dreams.  So what do you think?  What will be your first step?


You Need a Busload of Faith to Get By

I heard this song title on the radio yesterday, and it hit home so powerfully.  As we live life, run a business, take care of our families and ultimately ourselves, life is notorious for not letting us stay in a peaceful and content state for long.  It is always bringing us opportunities to remember who we really are, to return to our center.  Whether it’s big stuff – losing a loved one, or your job/livelihood, or one of the smaller incidents that annoy and frustrate, we all know what it’s like to fall away from ‘home’.  There’s a hopeless feeling about it and it comes with thoughts that are filled with victim assumptions – I will never reach my goals, I will always be the one left out – you know what I mean, don’t you? And energetically there’s that deflation.  Like having a full balloon of possibility and excitement and then suddenly it’s like all the air has drained out and you are nothing.

So let’s get back to the bus and the faith that we need to get by!  What is Faith?  I see it not as a religious belief system in a all-powerful God who will save me from disaster, but a combination of courage, strength and the wisdom to know that I am connected and in relationship with a Source that wants me to succeed.  I am not alone, as Michael Franti might say.  When I make sure to give my relationship with this Source my attention regularly, I discover my Truth.  Nothing is ‘perfect’, there will always be challenges – and yet the presence of these things does not negate the bigger truth of being loved.  I hold that love inside me – it is me.  In that place there is abundance and gratitude and a whole lot of aliveness and joy.  If I can remember to Remember, then the companionship of my journey increases.  There’s a full busload, not just of Faith but we are all riding together in this Mystery Tour of Life.

How about you – what is faith to you?  What helps you get by?  I’d love to hear your experience in coming home to yourself.


MY TIP FOR HOLIDAY SURVIVAL: Family Drama: How Not to Play

Have you ever noticed how similar the scenarios are at the holidays to going to see a really dramatic play?  Everyone is playing well-developed characters that they have done for years — the Peacemaker, the Drunk, the Misfit or the Clueless Clown – these are roles that are deeply ingrained, often since we were children.  And so are the reactions we have to them.  I call it ‘getting hooked’.  In Buddhism they call it ‘shempa’.  Whatever you call it, it’s a recipe for reliving the past over and over and ultimately being disconnected and isolated from your True Self.
This year, try something new. When you start to notice yourself becoming anxious, misunderstood, lonely or hooked, pick a word for yourself to create awareness that you’re about to leave the present moment and pick up the lines of an old, dissatisfying script.  It could be “Stop” or “Breathe” or “Gingerbread Men” – as long as it reminds to you come back to now where you have full choice what to do. 
Many times clients have shared that when they are with their families at the holidays, they lose their connection to who they really are now.  This is just one way to begin to leave the theatre and start creating your present day production that ‘s aligned with who you really are.
 If you want to discuss this or other ways to create a more authentic holiday experience, call me (970)259-9040 or email  Be the conscious creator of your Life now.

EVENING PRESENTATION – MANCOS, CO The Heroine's Journey – The Feminine Path To Change For The 21st Century Thursday, Sept. 29 6:30-8:30pm Kaleidoscope Healing Center, Mancos, CO SPACE LIMITED: Call (970)259-9040 to hold a seat.

NEW GROUP COACHING PROGRAM BY PHONE Sovereignty Circles – A True Life of Your Own 12 week teleseminar led by Victoria FittsMilgrim, PCC Starts Sept. 19, 2011 Coaching, group support, powerful and effective tools to reclaim your autonomy. Sovereignty Circles Group Coaching

October 28 – 30, 2011 Register Now! Only a few spots left! Heroine's Journey Weekend Retreat