Driving your life into a higher gear doesn’t happen by itself.  You’re at the wheel and to step up the power, you will need certain things.  Here’s my quick and dirty list to help you go from start-up to inspired success!

1. Creativity & Imagination – By now you’ve probably taken some time to Dream what you want this year to bring.  And if you haven’t, block some personal time now for it.  Nothing goes anywhere without your imagination engaged.  I dreamt up the Vision Board retreat in November and 2 weeks ago 11 amazing women came to engage with their dreams!  Create quiet time without distractions – you know what distracts you: phone, email, kids, partner, pet; so set these things aside in a clear way.  A journal or writing paper, colored markers or your favorite pen to capture the vision.  In stillness, ask yourself: what would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail?  Listen for your true answer.
2. The Plan – Great ideas are only that if you don’t have a clearly marked Road Map to make them real.  Wishing is just wishing.  Outlining a step-by-step plan gives you the pathway to get where you’re headed. 
3. Support: Your Cheerleaders – We all need somebody we can lean on (as Mick said)!  What support do you need?  Answer this taking into consideration your Mind, Body and Spirit.  You are not alone – but you have to ask! Who will it be?
4. Flexibility and Stretch – You know the phrase ‘The best made plans…’?  Things don’t always go as we envision.  Sometimes there’s a better way, a different timing, a new discovery.  Be flexible and listen as you move forward.  When suprises show up, stretch yourself in new ways – you’re bigger than you think! Step into your unique experience and dance with it as a fully engaged partner.
5. Fuel for the Road – In my life I’ve used these 2 things over and over for success: Devotion and Consistency.  Engage your Passion and keep your lighthouse shining. If you don’t, your dreams won’t know where to find you!

Implementing the items on this list is a surefire way to cruise down the highway to your Dreams.  So what do you think?  What will be your first step?

Victoria

I heard this song title on the radio yesterday, and it hit home so powerfully.  As we live life, run a business, take care of our families and ultimately ourselves, life is notorious for not letting us stay in a peaceful and content state for long.  It is always bringing us opportunities to remember who we really are, to return to our center.  Whether it’s big stuff – losing a loved one, or your job/livelihood, or one of the smaller incidents that annoy and frustrate, we all know what it’s like to fall away from ‘home’.  There’s a hopeless feeling about it and it comes with thoughts that are filled with victim assumptions – I will never reach my goals, I will always be the one left out – you know what I mean, don’t you? And energetically there’s that deflation.  Like having a full balloon of possibility and excitement and then suddenly it’s like all the air has drained out and you are nothing.

So let’s get back to the bus and the faith that we need to get by!  What is Faith?  I see it not as a religious belief system in a all-powerful God who will save me from disaster, but a combination of courage, strength and the wisdom to know that I am connected and in relationship with a Source that wants me to succeed.  I am not alone, as Michael Franti might say.  When I make sure to give my relationship with this Source my attention regularly, I discover my Truth.  Nothing is ‘perfect’, there will always be challenges – and yet the presence of these things does not negate the bigger truth of being loved.  I hold that love inside me – it is me.  In that place there is abundance and gratitude and a whole lot of aliveness and joy.  If I can remember to Remember, then the companionship of my journey increases.  There’s a full busload, not just of Faith but we are all riding together in this Mystery Tour of Life.

How about you – what is faith to you?  What helps you get by?  I’d love to hear your experience in coming home to yourself.

Victoria

Have you ever noticed how similar the scenarios are at the holidays to going to see a really dramatic play?  Everyone is playing well-developed characters that they have done for years — the Peacemaker, the Drunk, the Misfit or the Clueless Clown – these are roles that are deeply ingrained, often since we were children.  And so are the reactions we have to them.  I call it ‘getting hooked’.  In Buddhism they call it ‘shempa’.  Whatever you call it, it’s a recipe for reliving the past over and over and ultimately being disconnected and isolated from your True Self.
 
This year, try something new. When you start to notice yourself becoming anxious, misunderstood, lonely or hooked, pick a word for yourself to create awareness that you’re about to leave the present moment and pick up the lines of an old, dissatisfying script.  It could be “Stop” or “Breathe” or “Gingerbread Men” – as long as it reminds to you come back to now where you have full choice what to do. 
 
Many times clients have shared that when they are with their families at the holidays, they lose their connection to who they really are now.  This is just one way to begin to leave the theatre and start creating your present day production that ‘s aligned with who you really are.
 
 If you want to discuss this or other ways to create a more authentic holiday experience, call me (970)259-9040 or email victoria@truelifecoach.net.  Be the conscious creator of your Life now.

How to make this holiday season more authentic and aligned with who you are and what you want. 

Yoooow – is your email box filling up even more than ever?  Do you feel overwhelmed with invitations, offers, stuff you should know but don’t, people who expect a response now? All this and holiday shopping too?  I certainly am getting inundated and think it’s time to call HALT!  These are not the presents I want, Santa! (insert your own Holiday gift-giver here)

Let’s shift the equation and see how you can get more of exactly what you do want.

How many hours a day do you spend at your computer, supposedly getting things done towards your goals and dreams, and yet at the end of the day – or should I say night as so many of us work long into the night – you don’t feel you’ve been productive or that you’ve moved closer to your  goals? 

OK!  Enough!!  It’s time for a new plan!  Here’s my gift to you on not just being effective but feeling good inside because you know you’re doing what will lead to your own success.

Instead of just reacting to all the emails you get (plus social networking, mail and phone calls), consider at the start of each day (or even the night before) what is it that needs your highest attention?  Look at what small acts will move you closer to achieving what you desire.  Let each day begin by working on what is your highest priority.  Ask: “who do I need to contact?” instead of looking to see “who’s contacted me?” 

When we are reacting to others, the end result is that we’re usually helping them achieve their goals.  What we are proactive and set our own agenda, we most likely are working towards achieving our own.  Just another tip on maintaining Sovereignty in your life!

I hope you get everything you really want this year.  Let’s talk – post a comment on how you are or are not being pro-active in making that happen.

Victoria

Thanksgiving is just around the corner.  So much to do… so much to be grateful for!  I have done so many different things for this holiday over the years – it is truly one of my favorites.  Perhaps because it’s non-denominational – everyone gets to join in, without judgment about beliefs or points of view.

Although we all know that that can disappear quickly when traditional families come together since just because we grew up together, doesn’t mean we share the same view or philosophy of life.  Sometimes the joy of this gathering time can be dispelled by arguments and clashes of opinion.  So should we even bother sitting down together?

Since I was 18 and moved 2000 miles away from my family, one of my great joys over the years has been to share Thanksgiving with friends – an adopted family.  The blessings of this scenario is that I’m with people who
a) love me
b) share similar values
c) like to eat and eat well
d) will put on the same music after dinner, cajoling one another to dance around the living room!

They represent my tribe.  What is a tribe anyway, since it’s something I find myself in conversation with clients about often.  I guess I think we have many tribes to claim allegiance to.  Each group can represent a different part of ourselves.  For me, today, this is certainly true.  Here’s an example of what I mean:

1) My traditional family – including divorces and remarriages w/ members scattered across the country and even the globe
2) My closest friends – while many are scattered, these are the ones in my town that I love the most
3) My Power Dance girls – we share a love for dancing that fuels our Souls, which is why we often refer it class as the Church of Power Dance!
4) Other Mothers I know from my daughter’s friends
5) My clients! One of the benefits of being a Coach is that you can create fantastic relationships with your clients that allow you to enjoy them beyond the scope of coaching.  If like attracts like, why wouldn’t I love them too?
6) My Colleagues – these can be local relationships or thanks to the internet, around the world!

You can see that the expression Tribe can encompass so many interests and connections.  Commonality and the pull of that.  I like it best when it doesn’t come with ‘shoulds’, expectations and judgments.  When I feel accepted just for my regular, non-perfect self.  I’ll admit that that is where I usually choose to be on Thanksgiving because the company is even more nourishing than the food.

Where will you be?  Who will surround you at the table?  No matter who’s there, show up as yourself.  Share what matters to you and be a good listener.  Sometimes, when you think there’s no one there who understands you, you just might be surprised. 

In gratitude,
Victoria 

Here’s a beautiful Fall image called Circle of Life by Laura Gerry.  A wreath that connects us to the natural world without whom we couldn’t survive.  Another reminder of gratitude.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain

This is such a great reminder of how we can get into our safe, cozy lives and let our passion and creativity fizzle. I’ve seen it many times in my clients – they come in with that loss of aliveness. It comes from living the ‘expected’ life. The life society expects of us. Which doesn’t leave much room for our deepest hearts to sing, right?

Take a look today. Notice the habits and conditioned responses that are part of your life. It could be your routine going to work each day that’s become deadened. Or the choices you make at the grocery store. Or the people you’re spending time with that don’t even know who you are. Can you feel the tug of the bowlines wanting to set you free? What is one small way to do it? What can you say Yes to that will let your inner voice be heard, that will set you free?

Come on – I challenge you now, for the sake of that True Life that lives in you and longs for your attention – tell me 1 thing you will choose this week to set the bowlines free. If you do, you’re sure to feel some of that inner Sovereignty that comes from consciously choosing your life. I can almost feel the breezes now, and the glide of the boat, as you take the time to reflect and choose…. I

f you need a first mate, to support that choice, I’m ready to assist. Just give me a shout, and I’ll be there.

Victoria — victoria@truelifecoach.net

“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.” (Robert A. Heinlein – Time Enough for Love)

This quote by Robert Heinlein sure puts out the freedom here to everyone who ever thought they should fit into just one box! I am a multi-faceted being and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Of course, sometimes I forget, being human, and think I am just one thing and, that one thing and how it’s going represents my total contribution in this world – what poppycock! (love using that word)  Recently I got a lovely reminder about this from a documentary I saw on Neil Young (former member of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young). He spoke of having to follow his creative muse, no matter what others thought he should being doing – that he could venture off onto any path that beckoned his creative juices. What a beautiful permission letter – on the most perfect stationary, written in my favorite font, with a golden calligraphy pen!

My business evolves as I do.  While one year I might create one thing, I don’t have to repeat it if it no longer fits me or my clients.  I can adapt with flexibility.  I can engage inside myself and see what is calling to me – where the spark is for my passion today.  This keeps a real aliveness present as I meet myself where I am.

Where are you limiting yourself because you think you have to do it a certain way?  What is actually present for you now?  What would bring your passion alive?  And here’s the most fearless question of all:  What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?

I’d love to hear your comments on this, or any of my posts.  Let’s bring forth your authentic self now!

To living the joy, wherever it shows up,
Victoria

All of us have an inner judge – its part of being human.  It’s not just criticism for its own sake – Our minds are trying to protect us or help us survive in some way.  Often this judge is so familiar, so ingrained that we aren’t even conscious of it!  Here’s where the trouble starts.

If you find yourself feeling blue, a bout of depression being the lens that you’re viewing life through, it’s very possible that your judge has got you by the neck.  What would this really look like?  I’ll give you an example of what you might be hearing:

Are you crazy?  You can’t possibly do that.

What makes you think that you know what you’re doing?

Nobody cares what you think is a good idea?

You’re too ____ (fill in the blank here: fat, ugly, short, old, etc).

You’ll never be good enough.

 Etc, etc – I think you get the idea.  Sound familiar?  Whew – get me outta here!

While this state can seem like it will be interminable and everlasting, there are many things you can do about it.  Today I want to offer four powerful questions that come from Angeles Arrien, Ph.D, a cultural anthropologist who brings forth ancient wisdom to help support our journey today.  In these Native traditions, someone who’s feeling sad will seek help from a local healer for what ails them.  Arriens refers to ‘The Four Salves” – healing inquiries that can help one see where they have gotten off course and bring direction to coming home once again to our innate joy and aliveness.

1. “When did you stop singing?” This is interpreted as: When did you set aside your own voice?  What do you want that you’re not asking for?  What truths aren’t you speaking that need to be spoken?   
2. “When did you stop dancing?” is next.  Are you actually living in your own body?  Have you forgotten the connection to the physical that grounds you?  When we fully are living in the body, we have access to a whole world of inner wisdom that is authentically our own.  Movement is the road there – whether it’s dance or walking or chi gong or any type of physical activity that brings you into the present.  When we aren’t using the body, we lose touch with its innate energy; we disconnect from the flow.
3. “When did you become enchanted by the stories others have of you?  These can be the stories others have created for you to fulfill or the ones that you have integrated into your unconscious mind that aren’t authentically your own.  This is one of the judge’s favorite places to tell you what is expected of you and what you must do.  When you listen, you disown your true story – the one propelled by your essence.  Are you living someone else’s version of your life?  It’s time to return to your own truth.
4. “When did you stop practicing the sweet territory of silence?” Without stepping off the Hamster Wheel of Doing and Busyness, you can’t hear your own story or live it.  In silence there is connection to honest reflection, new insights and your creative juiciness.  Are you making time for this sacred quiet?  Are you giving yourself a chance to know your True Self?  Can you slow down and rest in the abundant flow that’s always there for you?

By claiming these questions, you begin to return to your own Sovereignty in your Life.  The questions are about recognizing where you’ve stepped off the throne and abdicated your power to other forces.  When you recognize the meanings of the symptoms of sadness, depression and being lost, the journey back begins.  These four questions are a magnificent Explorer’s map to find the Heart of your Center once again. 

1.  YOU WILL RECEIVE A BODY.

    You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period
this time around.
2.  YOU WILL LEARN LESSONS.

    You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called life.  Each day in
this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons.  You may like the
lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.
3.  THERE ARE NO MISTAKES, ONLY LESSONS.

    Growth is a process of trial and error: experimentation.  The “failed”
experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that
ultimately “works”.
4.  A LESSON IS REPEATED UNTIL LEARNED.

    A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned
it.  When you have learned it, you can then go on to the next lesson.
5.  LEARNING LESSONS DOES NOT END.

    There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons.  If you are
alive, there are lessons to be learned.
6.  “THERE” IS NO BETTER THAN “HERE”.

    When your “there” has become a “here” you will simply obtain another
“there” that will, again, look better than “here”.
7.  OTHERS ARE MERELY MIRRORS OF YOU.

    You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects
to you something you love or hate about yourself.
8.  WHAT YOU MAKE OF YOUR LIFE IS UP TO YOU.

    You have all the tools and resources you need, what you do with them is
up to you.  The choice is yours.
9.  YOUR ANSWERS LIE INSIDE OF YOU.

   The answers to life’s questions lie inside you.  All you need to do is
look, listen and trust.
10. YOU WILL FORGET ALL THIS…UNLESS YOU GET A COACH TO HELP YOU REMEMBER!

~ UNKNOWN

Often when embarking on a new endeavor or goal, we can grapple with our Gremlins.  These critics of the mind can (not so gently) inform us that we don’t have what it takes to reach the goal.  In order to bypass their unsupportive suggestions, you must have a strategy to respond.  Here are 5 steps you can do right now to connect with your own gifts and build your confidence!

1 – Take a strengths inventory: Take an hour and take yourself someplace you can be uninterrupted.  Leave your critic at home or safely locked away while you do the inventory.  Look at all of the things you feel you have been successful in…yes! there are at least 20 or more!!  Then list what it took to be a success in that endeavor.
 
2 – Find success in your body!  Imagine a time in your life that you felt really successful.  See it clearly in your minds eye.  Who was there, what were you doing.  What were the circumstances around your success.  Feel this time as fully as you can.  Notice how your body is feeling and the posture you body wants to take as you do this visualization.  That is your confidence posture.  All you simply need to do to find your confidence is to take that body posture.  It IS all in your body.
 
3 – Put a deposit in your confidence bank account.  Each time you do what you say you are going to do it puts a “deposit” in your confidence bank account.  Likewise when you say you will do something and then don’t do it you make a withdrawal in your confidence bank account.  Just imagine if you keep saying you will do something…like getting out there and talking to people about your coaching business and then not doing it.  You will eventually be overdrawn in your confidence bank account.  That is when people quit.  Don’t let that be YOU!
 
4 – Be Persistent.
 
5 – Smile.  Life is a mirror. If you frown at it, it frowns back; if you smile, it returns the greeting.  Take the smile test.  On a piece of paper, make four columns with the following labels: Time, Situation, Receiver Reaction, and My Feelings.  Then divide the paper into five rows.  You probably want to number each row.  Now throughout one day, pick five situations where you consciously decided to smile.  Record your results.  At the end of the day, assess the information.  Did the smiles affect the way you felt about yourself?  How did they make others feel?  Were the results what you expected?  See that smiles are magic and you create it.  With that kind of confidence what else do you want to create?
 
What will you do know with what you have learned from the above exercises?  My request is you take what you have learned and use your confidence to take the next step to your goals! Because now you know you can do it!