Posts Tagged ‘well being’

When in Struggle with Change, Do the Laundry

 

Some days the world comes at you at 90 miles an hour – ie, either endless small non-stop challenges, or big challenges that take your time and heart away from what you think you need to be doing. 

It can sure be overwhelming!  We all have connections to so many people and things – as part of the interconnected web we’re a part of – each one brings joy and fulfillment sometimes and new challenges for growth and learning at other times.

The past couple weeks I’ve had one of those big challenges facing me and it requires me to change.  To change how I’ve been in relationship with someone who I care deeply for.  Which in some way is like a break-up.  Since I’ve been married for 22 years, and this person is not my husband (whew), i
t’s been quite awhile since I’ve ‘done’ break-up.  I’m not used to the many feelings and emotions I’ve had arise.  This had required me to stretch myself for sure.

How do you handle all the feelings that loss brings up?  What keeps you centered as you go through letting go? (I’ll discuss the Letting Go part in another blog soon)
I have a big basket of tools (thankfully!) but that doesn’t mean I don’t get so caught up in feeling that I forget them.  Humanity is a never-ending experience!  This week, as I felt myself struggling, I recognized that it was time to connect with a tool, as the path I was on was turning into a huge downer.

What tool worked this time?  Well it’s usually a combination of a couple but the one I want to highlight here is:  Doing the Laundry!  Surprise!  Surprised?  Yup, it worked for a number of reasons.  Here are a few:

  1. Creating order from chaos – when change shows up, it can turn our nicely organized world into chaos.  We all want some measure of control over life – sometimes though, it’s just not going to happen in the area of change.  So if I turn my attention to something else – something I can have an effect on in a positive way, it brings me more breathing space to settle down.
  2. Feeling Productive – when I do the laundry, at the end I have an outcome that pleases me.  Nice warm piles of folded clothes.  This alone warms up my heart and begins to soften me towards the change I need to embrace with an Open Heart
  3. Making a Difference – if I do the laundry for me and my husband, I know I’m making a difference.  It may not save the world but we each have fresh clothes to wear that are ready to go.  Making my life and someone I care about’s life a little easier also expands my heart.

Just living these 3 values I notice the positive effect on me.  I am not so triggered by the changes facing me and now, I can start to let go.  There’s more breathing room.  I can start to see more possibility in the change — what doors are opening that had been closed?  What new aliveness is possible in me?  A fresh perspective becomes available – expansion and magic are back at work.  I’m no longer in freak-out, emotionally triggered mode.  I can see and then take my next step.

Are you dealing with Change?  Has it got you off in Never-never Land?  Try this simple way to realign yourself with yourself.  Let me know how it goes!

To the living the Change Journey with Grace,

Victoria

Scootering in the Slow Lane in India

Well, here I am in Siolim, India, a small town on the southwest coast of the state of Goa. There are palm trees and lovely breezes and I am definitely not in Kansas, oops I mean Colorado, anymore!

I was called here by my friend Patti, already in India, accepting a request to accompany her 3 daughters from Durango to Goa. It was a way that I could support her healing journey, and it spoke directly to my heart. It also spoke to my love of adventure and exploration. 20 years ago I traveled quite a bit, as the owner of Breakaway Adventure Travel but my wanderlust hasn’t been given much free rein while I’ve been in parenting mode for the last 19 years. A little here and there but this big journey seemed to come at just the right time. After a killer cold and snowy winter in Colorado, I was more than ready to say YES!

I love that we are in a beach area where things are relaxed and people live close to the land. It’s a simpler and colorful life. Certainly it’s not without it’s difficulties but I’ve noticed in my travels that often the less people have, the more friendly and grateful they are.

We’ve visited 2 beaches so far – one, Vagator was a beautiful setting in a cove with rock formations. We climbed down about 50 steps to get there and settled into some beach chairs with palm-frond coverings. While I liked the setting, we were visited non-stop by women selling sarongs, jewelry and henna applications. We did make some purchases but it was interesting to notice how some, once we said, ‘ok, no more, thanks’, got a bit huffy and annoyed. Since I hadn’t slept for 24 hours I noticed I was getting frustrated and losing patience

After a fantastic 12 hour sleep (a new record I think!) we headed to today’s beach, Morjim, which was quieter and had a beautiful, long stretch to walk with endless waves breaking. It was absolutely more relaxing with only a few people coming by to ask if we wanted a cold drink from one of the restaurant shacks that lined the beach behind us. We boogey boarded and read and had a delicious lunch of tandori chicken and fresh fish. Simple fare, just what you need on a hot day in paradise.

I can feel myself slowing down. I will send some blogs but also take time away from ‘reporting’ to just Be. Traveling somewhere where no one knows you is a great way to explore the question “Who am I now?” You get to notice how you’re responding to new surroundings and what kind of thoughts are occupying your mind. Checking in with your Inner State helps to create full choice on who you get to Be in each moment.

Try it in your life, whether home or exploring parts unknown. Where are you reacting to life, not responding? What beliefs might be limiting the full expression of who you are? Send me a response and let me know what you discover.

Stayed tuned to for more ramblings from the road!

Victoria

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